Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Tonight, my brother J sent me a picture of a finger missing it's tip. It was a fuzzy picture of his finger. Turns out it was only the skin missing. Kind of disappointing. As my demons laughed at their uncle's wimpiness, I asked J if I could tell a story here about one of his finer moments of dating communication. Yes, he does suffer from the same foot-in-mouth disease which I endure. Suffer may be a strong term. J thoroughly enjoys his foot-in-mouth disease and retelling said encounters later for others.

But being a mom to demons, I had to do the mom thing before I could blog. There was what a funny story about the boys here, but Big Daddy Awesome thought the boys might not appreciate that story being told about them in the future, so it's gone. Now that I've had a chance to vent about my demons, it's time for J's story!

J was more popular than I was in high school, although I'm not sure he ever really knew it or that it mattered to him. There was never a shortage of obnoxiously giggly girls waiting for J to show them the slightest amount of attention. In his freshman year of high school, J started "going with" one of his classmates. "Going with someone" was the high school equivalent of dating.

The relationship had lasted for 3 or 4 weeks when this event occurred. Their "relationship" consisted of eating lunch together at school and phone calls. There may have been a chaperoned date to the movies. They were 15 years old. Not much else should be happening.

So one day, they are eating lunch together with a group of her friends. J has a package of chips on a plate covered in melted, processed cheese product. I'm not going to pretend that I was a food snob in high school, but who approved that for cafeteria provided lunches? Did a velveeta knock off brand send a school cafeteria buyer a bribe? How can that be remotely healthy for growing teenagers? Back to my story. J is eating the chips and processed cheese product. And the girlfriend whips out a can of cherry pie filling and a can opener. She then proceeds to open the can of PIE FILLING and eat the ENTIRE can!!! She is then not satisfied and asks J if she can have some of his chips and processed cheese product. J looks at her and says, with a straight face, "I think you've had enough to eat for today."

I don't know who left the table first, though I think it was probably her. The inevitable break up happened that day.

J was not remorseful in the least over what he said. He may have been bored with the girl already. He enjoyed telling me and our mother and anyone else who would listen about what he had said.

I'd consider enjoying my foot-in-mouth disease more, but I think I just come off as pretentious, while my brother comes of as hilarious and charming.

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