Monday, June 28, 2010

Vacation blunders!

I'd warn you, both of my dear readers, that there are some gross pictures to follow, but as I already know you must have a pretty sick and twisted mind, I think this will serve as a disclaimer for anyone who happens to stumble upon my blog by chance. They are delightfully disgusting.

These are of special significance to me, because they are of my dear brothers, whom I sometimes despise. Why do I despise them? Because both of the buttheads can turn various shades of tan. The makeup I buy ranges from ivory to linen. What color make up would they wear? I don't know because I've never even bothered to look that dark in the makeup spectrum!!

Life is sometimes not fair. And sometimes, just sometimes, that works out in my favor. I learned as a very young person that sunburns hurt and you should always wear SPF "full body armor" if you plan to go to the beach and drink all day. My brothers were not as lucky as I was.

This is the before picture. Not so bad here. Somewhere in the medium tan range.

And then here are my genius brothers, showing their profound lack of common sense. Even our mother laughed at them.

And here they are, crispy fried chicken skins!

This picture requires a little bit of an explanation. This shows a previously unknown to the universe level of airheadedness. Not only does my brother, J, fry himself like bacon at the beach, but the next morning, when a little sense should have returned to him, he puts a nicotine patch on his arm. Why would he put it there? Why would he not put it on a spot that is not sunburned?? Was there a desire to further amuse me? I doubt it, but the thought does entertain me. This is the aftermath. Not only did he put the nicotine patch on the sunburned skin, but he ripped it off the next morning!

And all of the sudden, the peeling begins!

And here is the most disgusting picture of all! This looks like very finely sliced bacon coming off of my brother's head in strips.

So anyway, they're both single. I just thought I'd throw that out there. You know, in case some sick, twisted, awesome woman thought either one of them was even remotely cute and could stomach the thought of a guy who could be such an airhead.

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