Boys at Christmas, II

Last night, my computer hated me and wouldn't let me post the pictures of that other kid who lives at my house and in the room of the obviously favored kid whose pictures were posted yesterday.






It's genetic. Whenever there's a camera close by, my eyes close. Naturally, this happens to an evil munchkin too.



If you can't pick your nose in a picture, what good is a camera?



Why shouldn't your fingers go into your mouth after they've been in your nose?

Boys at Christmas

I told the boys that I needed to take some pictures of them for a present for one of my many aunts today and, naturally, they objected to having their picture taken. I asked them how they would like to have their picture taken and Trip said, "with crazy faces," and Logan said, "in the dirt." It was early in the day and I had yet to turn into a crappy monster mother, so I said, "let's go."




Practice picture. Still cute.




Having fun.



Very obviously my child.




Still my kid.



Drumrolllll,.......My kid is really named Damien. It's because my mother watched Rosemary's Baby way too many times when I was a kid. You're welcome, Mom, for the devil grandkid.

Ohwa-tatur-diam, part deux

I finally got to witness the magic taking place at the office with the animal crackers. The boys are more actively participating that I thought they were. Half the time that the animal crackers were "hidden," the boys could see them and were wrestling with Ed to get them back. Ed and his father teamed up against the boys, passing the 5 pound tub of animal crackers back and forth, chasing each other around the office, tackling, wrestling, generally running off energy. I did my best to not get run over while still being able to watch all of the action.

Ohwa-tatur-diam

The boys go to Ed's office everyday after school. I keep snacks in the kitchen for them and they go get whatever is available when they get to the office. The last thing I bought for them was a gigantic tub of animal crackers from Sam's Club. Snack time is viewed by the boys as vital to their very existence. So naturally, Ed had to screw with them yesterday.

When the boys arrived at the office after school, Ed had hidden the animal crackers and told the boys that the animal crackers had been stolen by a magician. The boys would have to say special words to combat the magician's spell and make the animal crackers reappear. They would also have to go to their Granddad's office and yell the words as loud as they could because that would be the best place for the magic to work.

"What are the magic words, Daddy?" they asked.

Well boys, there are three words. The first word is Ohwa, the second word is tafar, and the third word is tiam. You have to yell them really fast and really loudly to make them work," said Big Daddy Awesome.

"Ok, Daddy," they said and then ran upstairs to their Granddad's office. (I'm assuming there were no clients in the office at the time or if there were, they would have laughed with Ed.)

The boys commence their yelling, " Ohwhatafartiam! Ohwhatafartiam! Ohwhatafartiam!"

They ran downstairs to ask their Daddy if their animal crackers had reappeared. Unfortunately, they hadn't. Ed told the boys that maybe they would need to try different words. Shockingly, Ed knew just which words they would need to use.

"I think you should try these words next. Apparently, the magician's magic was too strong. The first word is Ohwa, the second is tatur, and the third is diam. Yell them as fast and loud as you can again."

"Yeah, yeah, stronger words! Good plan, Daddy!" Off ran my very gullible children.

The voices of my children sailed loudly down the stairs for all to hear.

"Ohwhataturdiam! Ohwhataturdiam! Ohwhataturdiam!"

They ran downstairs to Ed again, asking if the animal crackers had reappeared. They had!

So basically, ed and I had children so we could make them do funny things and then laugh at them. This is parenting at it's best y'all!

I'm going to make you get divorced and I'm going to marry Mommy!

Ed and the boys were playing last night. I'm not sure what I was doing. Laundry? Dishes? Working? Blogging? I'm not sure, but the wrestling turned into arguing, as it frequently does. (Children need to be taught how to argue effectively. We're teaching them valuable skills here.). When Logan finds himself on the losing side of an argument, he falls back on his tried and true retort, "You're fired, Daddy!"

Lately, the "firing" has proven ineffective, lost it's sheen for him.

Logan's new retort made Ed fall out of his chair because he was laughing so hard.

Logan said, "I'm going to make you get divorced from Mommy! And you're going to marry a new wife and live with her!"

After getting up from the floor and wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, Ed asked him who was going to marry Mommy and Logan said he was going to marry Mommy. (Awww, how sweet! There's that Oedipal complex in full swing!)

My question is this: Where did my kid learn about divorce? It had to have been at school because Ed and I aren't considering a divorce. We don't discuss it. It's really not an issue for us. We don't have close friends or family members who are going through a divorce. I don't mind that he's heard the term. It's not like you can shield your child from something that half of the population is doing. But whether he learned about divorce from television or school, he has a surprisingly clear understanding of the term and I know I didn't tell him about divorce. He just seems so young to know about it. I first learned about divorces when I was 8 and my parents got divorced.

When did you first learn about divorce? Have your children come home talking about divorce at a young age?

Boys, Growing Up

I try hard to live in the "now," but I usually find myself looking forward to the future with the munchkins or missing how sweet and young they were in the past. I find myself now missing my sweet babies of the past. I love my boys so much, but I miss the babies they were. I suppose this is a natural reaction to the transition they are making, but dang it, I miss my babies!

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Logan chose his blankets when he was only a year old. Ed and I would put certain blankets into each boys' crib when they went down for the night and they would throw blankets back and forth to each other until they had the blankets they wanted. Logan called his "lue lankets." He looks at me like I'm crazy now when I tell him what he used to call his blankets. It's more like he can't believe he ever mispronounced anything. He still sleeps with the blankets, but he has stopped chewing up the ends of them.

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Trip was two years old before he ever found "his" blankets. They were the little 9"x9" blankets that had come with bigger baby blankets. (We had everything in pairs.) He saw the blankets at the office one day and then had to have them everywhere he went from then on out. Trip called them his "pocket bankets" and would cuddle with them as if they baby dolls. He grew out of the "pocket bankets" when he was around four years old, but did move on to another special blanket. His special blanket now is a king sized, gray blanket that was meant for my bed. (The little thief!)

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Logan's language has always been oddly clear. He's accepted most corrections to grammar and pronunciation well and incorporated it into his language seamlessly. There is one big exception though. He calls fingers "thingers." We've had long discussions about the spelling and pronunciation of "finger" and he knows how it's spelled and he keeps on calling them "thingers." I really hope he keeps calling them "thingers" because it reminds me that even with as big as he is, he's still a little bit of my baby.

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I know it's natural to miss the sweet babies your children used to be. I know it's natural to yearn for the young men your children will become. I hope that for this Christmas season, I can simply enjoy the people my children are now.

Parenting revelations

I've just had a major parenting discovery. The discovery--boys basketball is the most awesome thing ever! The munchkins have just started playing and have now had a grand total of three practices. And the revelations are coming in!

Can they play basketball? Not really. They might be a little better prepared if we had ever played basketball with them. Or even watched a basketball game on television, but we haven't. That's ok though, because most of the other kids are on the same level.

So why is basketball awesome? Because it's climate controlled! And it comes with seating! And I'll actually be able to carry on a conversation without swatting bugs away!

I could wear high heels if I wanted to! I won't, but it's a possibility. It could rain and the game will still be played. My hair will not be a wind blown mess after the game is over! I'm so excited!

Logan is determined to make yet another sport into a full contact sport which won't be too bad when he finally gets to play against another team, but for now, he's content to wrestle with the biggest kid on the team for the ball. The entire team ended up on the floor and wrestling for the ball at least twelve times tonight. I think they spent more time on the floor than they did dribbling or shooting the ball. I have a feeling that all of the games will end up like that too.

All of the kids are 5 or 6 years old, so plenty of the kids will end up picking their noses and staring off in space instead of playing the game. I've been told that the scores will probably not get out of the single digit area for the whole season. All of the kids will still end up being exhausted after the games are over.

Basketball may be the greatest thing ever! At least until they are actually old enough to play football. I am a girl from Texas after all!

Family Game Night

We were watching television over the weekend with the boys and a commercial came on touting the wonders of a family game night while surreptitiously advertising a game for said family game night at the same time. The boys then begged to have a family game night with whichever game the commercial was advertising. I told them I couldn't buy the game on the television, but I would teach them how to play chess. (Every year after Halloween, we tell the boys that Santa has sent out an email telling us to not buy anymore toys or games for them so that we don't buy something that he's already planned on getting for them. Shhh!!)

So that Saturday evening, I taught them the basics for playing chess. I learned to play chess when I was 8 and each of my brothers learned when they were 5, so I figured the boys were plenty old enough to learn. They enjoyed taking each others pieces and really enjoyed the quality time we spent together.

The next day, we walked over to their grandparents' house and demanded to take their new chess set!



Logan was so excited he put his hoodie on upside down!

The Boys have been Busy

I have vague recollections of coloring as a child, but I don't recall bringing home a huge amount of drawings or worksheets. Trip loves to draw and do all of the paperwork associated with each work station at school and he brings home a ton of paperwork every week. Logan usually decides to forgo the paperwork which I appreciate because I don't have to argue with my inner pack rat over whether or not to keep the papers. Most of the papers they bring home are math or language exercises. By they, obviously I mean Trip. I did recently win a huge argument with my inner pack rat and threw out all of the school papers that couldn't fit into their baby books! I have kept these drawings for the time being.

So one day a few weeks ago, Trip brings home three drawings. There was a flower for me with "Mama" on it, a butterfly which was almost finished for Logan, and another flower for "Ed" who happens to be known around here as "Daddy!"




Awww! My sweet baby!



This is just funny. I don't even call him Ed. When we asked Trip why he wrote "Ed," he said he just wanted to. Typical kid answer, I guess.



And he loves his brother!



Not to be upstaged, I think Logan spent more time on his one drawing than Trip did on all three of his.

Awesome boys

Tripper learned how to tie his shoes first and doesn't seem to remember my $10.00 bribe offer. It took longer for him to learn than I thought it would, but he's extremely proud right now. Logan finally figured it out last night and is equally proud.

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Trip had a sucker yesterday and Ed was teasing him, trying to take away the sucker. Trip started chewing the sucker and Ed says, "You're eating that sucker wrong."

Trip says, "Mmmmm, it tastes like Daddy's tears!"

Score Trip 1 - Daddy 0.

You CAN'T tackle Momma!

These are my three guys, doing their nightly thing again. I just don't get it. It hurts to get tackled and yet, they do it every night. I'm waiting for the night they don't have the energy for all of this wrestling. Even if Big Daddy Awesome is not available to wrestle, the munchkins still wrestle with each other.

I do not remember wrestling this much as a child.

I wouldn't trade my three guys for anything. I'll take the bruises. Eventually they will hear me as I'm yelling, "You CAN'T tackle Momma!!"

Halloween!

Since I didn't get to take the munchkins trick-or-treating, I begged them to get into their costumes early. They didn't protest. They did however, tell me that they couldn't be in their costumes if they didn't have their light sabers. Trip was Darth Vader and apparently, Darth Vader can only use a red light saber. I received a lecture from both boys about Darth Vader ONLY using the redsight saber. Logan was Obi Wan Kenobi. Obi Wan's light saber color didn't receive the same attention as Darth Vader's.

They did not need to be told what to do with the light sabers. The sword fighting is intrinsic. I was just excited at this point because I didn't have to yell at them to watch out for the TV!!

Halloween

The munchkins have, I think, finally reached an age where they will remember details about their childhood. With Halloween being tomorrow, I really think they'll remember trick-or-treating. They've had their costumes for almost a month. I decided this year that I would not spend the day before Halloween picking through the leftovers at Target trying to find a suitable costume. The costumes were not on sale, but my kids will be what they want to be for Halloween.

You might think with all that planning, I would be taking them trick-or-treating. I'm not. Big Daddy Awesome is not. Neither are any of their grandparents. (Wait a second. The Mom of the Year people are knocking on my door to give me an award.)

None of us planned on the Texas Rangers making it all the way to the World Series. Not even Big Daddy Awesome who is the biggest Ranger fan in the world. BDA is a 1/8 owner of some season tickets for the Rangers. Can you guess when our tickets are? Sunday. After all of my planning, I will not be home to take my kids trick-or-treating. BDA claims that the munchkins will one day understand why we left them on Halloween to watch the Texas Rangers play in the world series and I know they will one day. I just wonder if I'll still be alive when they do.

Tonight

Tonight, my brother J sent me a picture of a finger missing it's tip. It was a fuzzy picture of his finger. Turns out it was only the skin missing. Kind of disappointing. As my demons laughed at their uncle's wimpiness, I asked J if I could tell a story here about one of his finer moments of dating communication. Yes, he does suffer from the same foot-in-mouth disease which I endure. Suffer may be a strong term. J thoroughly enjoys his foot-in-mouth disease and retelling said encounters later for others.

But being a mom to demons, I had to do the mom thing before I could blog. There was what a funny story about the boys here, but Big Daddy Awesome thought the boys might not appreciate that story being told about them in the future, so it's gone. Now that I've had a chance to vent about my demons, it's time for J's story!

J was more popular than I was in high school, although I'm not sure he ever really knew it or that it mattered to him. There was never a shortage of obnoxiously giggly girls waiting for J to show them the slightest amount of attention. In his freshman year of high school, J started "going with" one of his classmates. "Going with someone" was the high school equivalent of dating.

The relationship had lasted for 3 or 4 weeks when this event occurred. Their "relationship" consisted of eating lunch together at school and phone calls. There may have been a chaperoned date to the movies. They were 15 years old. Not much else should be happening.

So one day, they are eating lunch together with a group of her friends. J has a package of chips on a plate covered in melted, processed cheese product. I'm not going to pretend that I was a food snob in high school, but who approved that for cafeteria provided lunches? Did a velveeta knock off brand send a school cafeteria buyer a bribe? How can that be remotely healthy for growing teenagers? Back to my story. J is eating the chips and processed cheese product. And the girlfriend whips out a can of cherry pie filling and a can opener. She then proceeds to open the can of PIE FILLING and eat the ENTIRE can!!! She is then not satisfied and asks J if she can have some of his chips and processed cheese product. J looks at her and says, with a straight face, "I think you've had enough to eat for today."

I don't know who left the table first, though I think it was probably her. The inevitable break up happened that day.

J was not remorseful in the least over what he said. He may have been bored with the girl already. He enjoyed telling me and our mother and anyone else who would listen about what he had said.

I'd consider enjoying my foot-in-mouth disease more, but I think I just come off as pretentious, while my brother comes of as hilarious and charming.

You want to know what which word means???

Bedtime has a special mother-son feel for us. It's a time for story book reading, cuddling, and conversations at the end of the day. That being said, we usually wrap up all of that mother-son time in about 20-30 minutes. I have a blog to write after all. Sometimes, the bed time ritual is sweet. Sometimes, there is cursing. Sometimes, there are tears, mine or theirs. It hurts to be tackled by a 52 lb munchkin. Trip often tells me that he wants to talk to me about his day. Logan occasionally wants a word defined, which was the case several weeks ago.

Mama, what does sex mean?

Me, coughing, sputtering, looking wildly around for the adult in the room to answer this kid's question. No such adult existed.

I slowly regained my composure.

Logan, I'm not ready to define that word for you yet.

But Mom!

Where did you hear that word?

And I found my inner adult! Did you see it?

I heard it on Family Guy.

OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!

So, we stopped watching Family Guy for a while. Which then turned into me and Big Daddy Awesome watching Family Guy after the boys had gone to bed. Then, Big Daddy Awesome started letting the boys watch the Family Guy Star Wars movie. Can you see where this leads? My kids need to be in bed by 6:30 every night so we can watch tv. Or not. Eventually, we lost the "No Family Guy" rule.

In all fairness to Family Guy, Logan did ask me occasionally over the next few weeks to define sex for him again without seeing Family Guy. I'd refuse to define it and that would end the discussion. Or so I thought. Apparantly, Logan's little mind was hard at work over this new and fascinating word that Mom wouldn't define. Little demon. I think he's possessed.

So a couple of nights ago, the boys and I are in their bedroom, doing our nightly routine. We've read 3 books. They're both cuddled up to me. And then Logan decides that the time is right to make his request of me.

Mom, I want you and Dad to have sex so I can have a little sister.

What in the hell has happened to my innocent little baby? Why would he say such a thing to me? A freaking sister? Is he crazy? Who filled his head with a freaking definition that I didn't want him to have yet?

So I choked again.

Logan, what do you think that word means?

It's something Moms and Dads do to make a baby. I want a sister.

Who told you what that word means?

My brain thought it up. My brain is smart.


Really kid? He doesn't even blink when he's telling me this. I think he may have really deduced this on his own. Why on earth does he want a sister? Is Big Daddy Awesome telling him to ask for a sister?

I told him that the conversation was over until he was 10 years old and there would be no baby sister.

I don't mind my children being the ones to enlighten their friends' vocabularies on the playground with 4 letter words, but I am not ready for that big talk yet.

Good Night

Tonight, Trip was feeling especially rambunctious. I sent him in to say good night to Big Daddy Awesome with instructions to give Daddy a hug. What did Big Daddy Awesome get? A punch in the stomach! Followed by uncontrollable giggling. Why do little boys act like that?

Flashlight pictures

Big Daddy Awesome has a fascination with office gadgets. His newest gadget is a combination key chain, flashlight, bottle opener, and flashlight with his business information on it. Big Daddy Awesome is one happy guy. He loves his gadgets. The munchkins take after him. They found a cache of the key chains and I found them hiding in my closet. They though they were in trouble, but I broke out the iphone and started snapping pictures of them.

Boys, edited

I've been experimenting with the editing feature on my computer. This is closer to what my munchkins looked like on their first day of school. Those shirts will be permanently stained within the month. I don't really know how they end up with so many stains on their shirts. Do they actually eat their lunches at school? Or do they just use their food to paint their shirts?

My Birthday Present from the Boys

I threw myself a birthday party last week for turning 32!! During my frenzy of cleaning and cooking for the party, my sweet munchkins announced they were going to make their beds for the party! This is the result of their labor. I almost teared up when I saw how sweet they had been.

First Day of School!

The munchkins have started kindergarten!! I finally have the first day of school pictures to share. As you can see, they are more interested in casual clothes. The idea of denim in the summer will cause histrionics instanteously. And it's days like these that I'm so very grateful that I have boys. They pick out their own clothes in the morning and in their eyes, they match well enough. They own one pair of tennis shoes, one pair of sandals, and one pair of cleats each. There is no arguing in the morning about shoes because sandals aren't allowed at school.

I was forced this week to go down the girl toy aisle to get a birthday present for a friend. I was traumatized by the pinkness of the whole aisle. I couldn't handle the frilly, pink, sparkly sensory overload. Every time we go to a girl's birthday party, I become so much more grateful that I have boys!